Meaning of Life◆“Being Yourself” Matters Most
Chunichi Shimbun, Morning Edition, November 17, 2006
“Unhook the Stars” (1996, USA)
I often meet women who say, “My children are the purpose of my life.” Watching the children they have raised grow into fine adults must surely be one of the greatest joys a parent can experience. However, if hidden behind such feelings are thoughts like, “My children are the only reason I have to live,” or “I will be unhappy if my children do not turn out well,” there may be cause for concern. When a person’s only source of meaning in life is love for their family, they may be at risk of depression following the death of a loved one or of developing empty nest syndrome.
Mildred, played by acclaimed actress Gena Rowlands, is a film that portrays the inner life of a woman overcoming a midlife crisis.
A capable and dependable woman, Mildred is widowed and has raised her eldest son, Ethan, into a fine young man. She now lives with her daughter, Ann. But Ann becomes frustrated at being treated like a child and one day leaves home. Around the same time, a woman named Monica, who lives across the street, throws out her abusive husband. Yet working while raising her six-year-old son, JJ, is difficult, so Mildred offers to look after him during the day.
JJ is quiet and shy, but Mildred comes to love him as if he were her own child. She reads to him, plays sports with him, and gives him birthday presents, showering him with affection. She also begins to develop feelings for a truck driver she meets at a bar after going out with Monica.
Later, Ethan invites Mildred to his new home in San Francisco and suggests that she sell her house and move in with him. But she refuses, saying, “I like the life I have now. JJ is my best friend.” Just afterward, however, Monica reconciles with her husband, and Mildred finds herself alone once again.
Through her encounter with JJ, and through the pain of parting with him, Mildred gradually comes to realize that what truly matters is not depending on someone or taking care of someone, but living her own life in her own way.
She sells the house where she has lived for so many years, a home filled with memories, and sets off on a journey without even telling her daughter Ann where she is going.
Ann’s farewell words to her mother are:
“Mom, you look so beautiful.”
